I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
