i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
