My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
