I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
