Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
