Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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