Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
