I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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