Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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