I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
