I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
