i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
