I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
