there was a trapeze. enough said
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
This is classic penis vs brain.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
