I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
