Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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