I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
