This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
