we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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