Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
