I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We had to coat check the pizza.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
