every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
