she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
