My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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