Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
