Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
