Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
