we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
