well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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