he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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