So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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