im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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