My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
