I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
