thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
