I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
