tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
