I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
