I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
