this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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