But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
