Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
