none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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