i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
