i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
