if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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