your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My ATM looks so different sober.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
