After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
