Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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