so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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