Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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